Is it time to move everyone on?

When the kids are aged by months you have to sort and pack outgrown stuff constantly; as they get older you’ll find there’s less sorting but often much bigger bits of equipment are either needed, or would be better passed on…For more ideas about thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children see http://homemadekids.wordpress.com, or www.nicolabaird.com

Some of the families in our babysitting circle back at a 2009 get-together.

This week I’ve been moving on as a mum – from mum of youngsters to mum of teens. This isn’t easy – you keep thinking how quickly those years all went. And possibly, how much energy you used to have… (maybe this is just me!).

On Monday I handed over the babysitting circle to a mum with younger children. To have a look at all the posts I’ve written about babysitting circles and how they work, plus how to organise your own, see here.

And now I’m trying to sort out our house so that my girls move into separate rooms. We’re lucky as we have enough space to do this (and no housing benefit stickler breathing down our neck muttering bedroom tax).

Turn the light off
Until now it’s been easy to have the girls sharing but I notice that a 12 and 15 year old have very different sleeping preferences (eg, when they stop reading at night and when they wake in the morning), so in the interest of keeping them friendly it makes sense to split them up.  Many families seem to split their kids much earlier – but I remember really enjoying chatting as I fell asleep when I was a kid, so I’ve held out for a long time. But now, it’s goodbye to the bunks.

Hope I don’t miss these bunk beds too much.

I had a bunk with my sister, who then went on to share it with our brother. Bunks are a brilliant way to squeeze in more kids for overnight stays (eg, babysitting swaps if you’re not in a babysitting circle). They seem to stop night terrors too, because someone is always in the room.

The bunks pictured aren’t the 1960s model – but they were pre-loved before they got to our house, passed on by a nearby neighbour when her teen felt he was too old for a bunk anymore.

I’ve put the bunks on freecycle – really recommend this for passing on un-wanted items and of course for finding things you need. I love the way so many of the things in our house have been pre-loved.

Over to you
How’s your life-cleaning coming along? Do you feel energised by it, or  just a tad sad?

10 ways to entertain boys

Families with more than one child of the same gender have it easy – and I know because I have two girls.  It’s easy when girls/boys are small to share clothes, toys, books, interests even identify the same school. But those with all girls – or those with all boys – are bound to have to entertain the other gender. Here’s the tips I find work when younger boys come round…For more ideas about thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children see http://homemadekids.wordpress.com, or www.nicolabaird.com

Find, catch, show off and return gently to the water where you found your common newt.

1 Provide a challenge
Years ago children spent far more time outside, and I think kids like the experience of being out, so get outside. Our very small garden pond is a great habitat for newts – I’ve yet to meet a boy visitor who hasn’t liked fishing them out, showing them off in a container or identifying which type of newt they are.

Souped up boat.

2 Organise a building competition – indoors or out
Am I being a tad predictable here if I suggest making a sportscar or palace out of Lego, or a pile of slightly random objects (mostly containing toilet roll inners and sellotape)?

Xander carving a dagger with a pen knife.

3 Go hunt a stick
What can’t you do with a stick? Sticks win and can put zest into anyone flagging. Find them, hide them, use them as turbo-charged space ships, conduct an orchestra, point at the sky and fly those planes. Don’t be surprised if sticks transform themselves into lightsabres or power pistols.

Heard the one about the boy who made a den?

4 Tell a story as you walk
Great approach with younger, tired children. Start telling the Gruffalo story and see if walking like the mouse, or Gruffalo, gets you nearer your target. We’re going on a Bear Hunt is a goodie too. Slightly older children can try suggesting more imaginative ways to walk, eg, like Superman/hedgehog/one legged bandit/wallaby.

Please sir, can I have more?

5 Keep on offering food
Not treats, proper energy-giving food. When it’s cold hot chocolate in a flask is a treat. Try accompanying with hot cross buns and a piece of fruit. Get in the habit of bringing a bottle of tap water wherever you go to keep your walkabout  costs down. Or just go to that cafe – at least you’ll warm up and have an easy toilet break.

3 oldie parents plus boys of 17 and 13 and girls of 12yo, 10yo, three dogs and a pony go wild in the countryside…

6 Keep dogs out of the way – or go for a walk together
I know boys get on fine with dogs, but many urban children are often very unused to pets; ditto pets to kids. If your rooms are small it’s actually quite hard for the child and dog not to eyeball each other without animosity, especially if food is involved.

Prepare postcards and send them from every red postbox your find.

7 Dream up a treasure hunt
If interest is waning you can dream up a list of 10 things to find pretty much wherever you are. Actually this is fun to do even if people’s spirits aren’t flagging. With a 12 yo girl and 11 yo boy on a walk by the Thames/enclave of shops I suggested finding a clay pipe (took a while); plus a can of drink, bowl with a fish design, rocking horse and hair band. I thought it would take ages – but they’d done it in less than 2 minutes so make the challenges tough. No prizes necessary – it’s all about the hunt.

8 Let them fight
Kids fight, it helps them negotiate their way out of the situation. Ideally only step in if the conflict is getting dangerous.

I remember begging to sit in the middle seat in the back of my dad’s car so I could enjoy the squabbles with my brother and sister. If it’d been me parenting me, I might still let those backseat squabbles happen, but if the shrieks got annoying time honoured distractions should get children looking out of the window (not at a screen). Singing along is good; pub cricket (pitching left side of the road against right in the mathematical challenge of working it which side of the road has pubs with the most legs in them. So The White Hart gets 4 points; The Poacher 2. The King’s Head (or a non-leg sign like The Bell) earns 1 point. Or hand over a map and let the kids navigate.

9 Distraction/separation

Work on those ball skills.

Use this before or after those fight break out. If you’ve got two adults divide the warring parties and go do something different, separately. If you’ve got more than one room, use them. Fights tend to be provoked by feelings of injustice – not to mention being hungry, tired or bored.  Can you run/schlep to the shops to buy a healthy snack with the kids? I’ve got one friend who lived miles from a shop, but she set up a little play shop down the lane where she lived. Go there and get trading (I’ll have one elephant with a blue ear, some tea bags and a cheese roll please).

Want an easy Easter egg recipe?

How can you make your own easter eggs? For more ideas about thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children see http://homemadekids.wordpress.com, or www.nicolabaird.com

Chocolate easter eggs are a new invention! People used to paint hard boiled eggs using natural dyes (we tried with beetroot for red/pink and onion skins to get a yellow tone but it’s harder than it looks). Although many Easter eggs are cheap the good quality, fair trade chocolate options are pricey – and invariably come with too much wrapping. Challenge yourself with the Guardian quiz here.

Use up an old egg box. When it’s finished you can compost.

Add a key so your lucky recipient knows which egg is chocolate. We had to use a few shop-bought chocolates intended for the easter egg hunt to make our gift look a bit more generous.

An alternative is to have a play around making your own Easter egg box.

CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE EGG

• Our hens lay blue eggs, but only Lavender lays regularly. So first get a nice egg. Then pierce the egg (at the fat end) with a skewer, widen the hole to allow all the white and yolk to drain out. Set aside to use for pancakes or scrambled egg.
• Melt 50g of chocolate per egg – so 2 eggs = 1 big bar of chocolate. Add a dash of brandy and a generous spoonful of cream (we used plain yoghurt].
• Find a piping bag and aim the nozzle into the egg’s hole. Spoon the chocolate mix into the bag and squeeze until your egg is full up with chocolate. yum.

PAINTED HARD BOILED EGGS

• We found white eggs – duck eggs are a good choice. Then hard boil in water with something that might dye them such as beetroot, nettle tops or onion skins.
• Or hard boil, allow to cool and paint as you like. Ideally leave enough time to do half an egg at a time so your designs can dry out. A hooped egg looks fabulous.

The girls and I spent Good Friday listening to a friend’s mum and her choir sing Bach’s forceful St John’s Passion wonderfully. It takes two hours – a time the audience clearly felt was a little long, judging by the wriggling and trips neighbours made to the toilet. But the singing was amazing and as everyone was provided with a booklet containing the words it was easy to follow the Easter story.

Beautiful painted eggs – something to aspire to…

And it’s pretty bad – Pilate lets the crowd do what they want, which is crucify a 33-year-old who answers questions with riddles. Under the cross he is nailed to stand three women called Mary, including his mum.  I know this story inside out, and yet with the music it seems fresher. It also inspired me to go home and make our own Easter eggs.

Love Jamie & Leon: date or school dinner?

How can you improve school food? Turns out as a parent you can do nothing and then one day you’ll be asked by Leon – that wonderful chain of delicious food that I’ve only been able to afford to visit once – to give some feedback about how to make school dinners better via the School Food Plan. For more ideas about thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children see http://homemadekids.wordpress.com, or www.nicolabaird.com

 

Fancy a nice stick insect in your lunch box? No, thought not.

A few years ago I made a terrible mistake with my daughter Lola’s packed lunch. I sent her to school with a healthy lunch instead of using the school dinners (this was in the turkey twizzler times and before free school meals for all primary school children in Islington). That day Lola also had to hand over a similar-sized tupperware container of 5cm long Indian stick insects to the nursery classroom. Unfortunately the labels were dislodged and she managed to mix up the boxes…

…And so at lunch time Lola opened up a box of stick insects. It looked as if mega insects were her dish of the day.

Cue mad screaming from a table of seven year olds. And from all the kids having lunch in the hall.

Fortunately the three stick insects were not hurt in the melee, and eventually ended up in a suitable lidded and well-ventilated container in the Nursery.

Nightmare lunch

Unfortunately the teaching assistant assigned to locate Lola’s real lunch (which by then the school had worked out must be inside the tupperware container in the nursery) opened it up and gave a shriek. Wriggling over the tasty houmus sandwich and apple slices were little white caterpillars.

Only my daughter realised that these were moth larvae. She was also the only one to realise that they must have  hatched out fast in the warmth of the Nursery, emerging from the dried raisin box that I’d assumed she’d eat as a lunchtime treat. She wasn’t scared of the wriggly caterpillars, but she certainly reveled in making yet another person in the school scream.

Of course the unlucky teaching assistant was appalled by Lola’s neglectful mother and sent a stroppy note home about how I shouldn’t send the kids to school with “maggots in their lunch boxes”.

What’s for dinner?
Every time I see a magazine cooking spread with lush pictures of chocolate covered locusts or crispy fried ants  - billing insects as the new healthy protein-filled snacks I think about that mix-up day and laugh. Insects on the school menu – not a chance.

But now I’ve heard that Leon is taking up where lovely Jamie Oliver left off and are trying to find ways to improve school food. There’s a 2-min youtube video here which shows how working with Department of Education, Leon are taking a temperature take of where we are now. Below is a list of where they are hunting for the best ideas. Maybe you’ll be lucky and you’ll get an invite – or an  opportunity to participate – too.

School Food Plan roadshow…

Leeds, David Young Community Academy – Thursday, 14 February 2013

Manchester, East Manchester Academy – Monday, 25 February 2013

Newcastle, Benfield School – Monday, 4 March 2013

Bristol, Redland Green School – Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Norwich, Ormiston Victory Academy – Friday, 15 March 2013

Birmingham, Hillcrest School – Thursday, 21 March 2013

London, Grey Coat Hospital CofE School – Monday, 25 March 2013

Over to you

How do you deal with school lunches – pack your own or let your kids risk the queues so they get a shared experience? And what would make your school’s lunches into fun but nutritious fast food?

Kids on the street

About 100,000 kids a year go missing. What can you do about runaway children? And what if your child went missing? Plus a detour to No 10 Downing Street thanks to Mumsnet. For more ideas about thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children see http://homemadekids.wordpress.com, or www.nicolabaird.com

Synchronicity perhaps, but over the past three days what to do about missing children has been top most in my thoughts. Even the first item I heard on Radio 4′s Today programme was the follow up to the Rochdale case in 2012 when nine men were jailed for sexually abusing five girls – who had a track record of “going missing”. Turns out police have changed the way they plan to work, see here. Instead of turning up when a child misses a curfew at a children’s home they are only going to turn up when a proper missing child is reported…

So what’s a proper missing child? Given that every 5 minutes a child runs away from home?

“If you feel like you’re on your own and there’s no one you can talk to pick up the phone and call Baranardo’s Miss U London, New Horizon Youth Centre, Runaway Helpline, Childline” – is the message on a card that can be used to wind your headphones around.

At a recent school governors’ meeting we discussed one year group with 93% attendance this half of spring term. This means you know some students aren’t at school, and you know who they are. But do you know where they are? Or why they are where they are? And do their families? And is the school – and their families – doing enough to stop a naughty truant turning into a child at risk?

Fast forward to a room of Mumsnet bloggers at the grand Royal Horseguards Hotel being addressed by Andy McCullough, 45, from the Railway Children.

Tattooed Andy looks the sort of man that really does have a 22-year-old who tells his dad to turn the music down.

“One in nine children runs away,” said McCullough (left) who grew up in care and says he went missing a lot of times. He uses this experience plus 28 years working in social – and bucketloads of wit – to speak about how to help runaway children. “We did a survey and were shocked parents hadn’t talked to kids about this. There are horrible things out there and if we are shy about it with our kids young people don’t get to know. They feel going missing is getting away from it.”

Young people aren’t always safe outside on their own, but the alternative: claustrophobia at home – and in some cases emotional and physical bossing that they have to face from their family – is likely to mean some go missing. Going missing is when you start being at risk in another way, being befriended by people who have no intention of being kind. I read example after example in the newspapers of girls who’ve been groomed for sexual exploitation. And then there’s the drugs. Andy McCullough pointed out that in Britain the nights are long, cold and often wet that’s why the runaways take drugs.

What next?

Mumsnet hopes families will start talking more about the problems. To kickstart the conversations they teamed up with Aviva (insurance/pension company) in the autumn to fundraise for Railway Children, and have already raised £72,000.

Now it’s all about spreading the word. For 20 mumsnetters that meant meeting frontline workers – and then nibbles and wine at Number 10 Downing Street with Samantha Cameron. What a treat to visit such an historic building – built in the 1600s with floor space modelled on Dr Who’s Tardis.

(Let’s not say anything about how her husband’s ridiculous bedroom tax is going to mess up life for so many families. Or how women are the ones increasingly disenchanted by Tories – at least that’s my guess since being handed a pamphlet for 1000 Mothers March For Justice to protest against cuts, caps, hunger, evictions and fear that hurt us and our children due to be held in Tottenham on 13 April 2013 at 11am.)

The red carpet was for the President of Malawi, No 10′s earlier visitor.

Eyes shut and wishing – just about to go into Downing Street, so hoping that the Greens were a massive party or the people in power were greener…

Sam Cam loves the Railway Children, called it a “fantastic charity” and quite rightly the trustees beamed. I also met some Barnado’s workers who run school assemblies about the tricky situations children have to face in addition to school life, exams and dating. The list of challenges includes domestic violence, having to care for/avoid a mum or dad with mental health problems, a sibling hooked on drugs or alcohol.

And then today my favourite blog Spitalfieldslife.com publishes a photo essay by Phil Maxwell of kids on the street, see here. I look at the pix – one of just kids on playground swings looking at a line of police in riot uniform, another just a toddler heading out of the door, others of small gangs of children roaming and try and reconcile all that I’ve learnt.

In my book Homemade Kids most of the 100 families who are bringing their kids up in a thrifty, creative and eco-friendly way see being outside as one of the big cure-alls. They want to see kids playing on the streets (and cars going slower, or not there at all). But the book focussed on younger children – a stage when adult carers do direct their kids much more.

That said many people are not kind to children and by the time they are teens they’re positively horrible – albeit not necessarily using or abusing them. Ensuring there is nowhere for groups to hang out together and constantly shooing teens away (eg, ever seen a shop sign that says no more than 2 school children?) is surely pushing children and teens straight towards the seemingly friendly bloke at the bus stop who is as the old stories put it, “a wolf in sheep’s clothing”.

Pity the kids, and those of us adults who are a real friendly person at the bus stop.

Facts

In a recent survey, one in 11 teenagers aged 14 to 16 admitted to having run away overnight at some stage in their life

It’s impossible to know the true scale of the problem: two-thirds of runaways aren’t reported as missing to the police, and many are too vulnerable or scared to seek official help

It’s estimated 2000 children will run away over Christmas.

Another post on this topic by me – runaway thoughts – is here.

Over to you

Staying out all night is not a Duke of Edinburgh challenge… do you think your kids know how to be safe? What about their friends? The twitter handle for Railway Children is @RailwayChildren and please use #runningaway or have a look at http://www.mumsnet.com/runningaway  PS – adding a comment means Aviva gives a DONATION to Railway Children, or RT if that’s more your thing. Thanks.

What makes you happy?

I always felt that singing “we’re a happy family” was tempting fate. But stumbled across the Simple Woman’s Daybook  – loads of posts where mums focus on the calms and pleasures of life and felt it might be another way to approach what my hopefully ok week will be like. I recommend having a go to anyone who loves blogging but sometimes feels they’d like a change of pace, especially if you’ve been busy with family (we spent saturday on a protest march to try and keep the local hospital open – it rained for most of this event). Service will be resumed as normal in the next post, ie, thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children at http://homemadekids.wordpress.com. Post by nicola baird.

Singing in the rain room (an art installation where you get to control the flow, can’t do that outside).

FOR TODAY

Outside my window…it’s 9.30pm and dark so I can’t see anything, but I can hear St Patrick’s day festivities and Irish music at the local pub.

I am thinking…about how different it is after the rain – puddles are muddy, birds sing louder and the world looks better, but inside the house smells of wet dog – even if you don’t have a dog. And the floor space shrinks because it is taken over by drying umbrellas/shoes/wellies.

I am thankful...that my kids don’t go to boarding school! I’d miss them so much.

In the kitchen...lots of washing up after some experiments with cheeseless pizza and hot cross buns done with my daughters. Today i found out baking was simple and you can do it without any special equipment.I am wearing...the usual super-warm winter weather uniform – including the ethnic, cosy waistcoat that I bizarrely wore on my first date with my now husband Pete. He didn’t much like it then. 20 years on he’s grown to love it, not.I am creating…a quilt (using big pieces of material which i sew together on the hand-turn singer machine my great granny gave to my mum for her 21st). Hope to finish it ready for a visitor on thursday.I am going...to a zillion barbed-wire diary work-play events this week. School governor duty on Monday, blogging treat on tuesday, Quasimodo on wednesday, riding teaching on thursday – clearly it’s going to be a crash out friday.

I am wondering...about why I didn’t give any money to Comic Relief. Such a good collection of projects.I am reading...between books but can recommend The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce. Have been trying to read books from all around the world, see this most recent review of novels from the Pacific edge here.I am hoping...i can find a good Somali contact for interviewing on http://islingtonfacesblog.comI am looking forward to...my birthday on Saturday. Love the number 23 (date, not age).I am learning...that this might be something i should work on.Around the house…spring light reveals far too much dust. anyone else noticed more cobwebs than usual?I am pondering…if giving up sugar, meat and gluten leaves you anything to eat? I haven’t done this yet but live in fear that someone medical will one day insist i cease eating bread. Aghhhhhh.A favorite quote for today…”Always look on the bright side.”One of my favorite things…home – strange seeing as I like travelling just about as much too, just I do less of it.A few plans for the rest of the week...Seeing my oldest sing on tuesday and my youngest skate next Sunday. If there is time to watch MadMen from a borrowed box set how happy would I be.

A peek into my day… probably shrank as outside for a lot of it in the rain – went on a history walk at the local nature park  with my 14 year old and took the dog for a walk. Nell, 12 went with Pete to see the movie Lincoln. Excellent way to do some history homeschooling.

Over to you
Have a go doing this yourself – just copy the headings and paste the url to http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.co.uk/

Making a splash: water rules

Cleanliness is expected isn’t it, so how do you keep your self and stuff clean without polluting the rest of the world? And why bother to teach kids about this anyway? For more ideas about thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children see http://homemadekids.wordpress.com, or www.nicolabaird.com

Nell’s friends Lucas and Nat look for newts in our garden pond.

My family love looking for newts, splashing in the sea and growing plants. Three  out of four of us eat fish occasionally too. I think that’s helped us all understand why we want to avoid wasting water or polluting it.

This is how we manage:

1. We know that showers need to be quick so we…
2. Share baths. That way each person individually enjoys as long as they like wallowing, and are not nagged into having a 3 minute speed wash.
3. We have four water butts but a tiny garden (around 10m2)
4. We wash up by hand. This is allegedly a way of wasting water, but in the summer all used washing up water is poured into a bucket and then used to water plants. To do this the washing up liquid needs to be non-toxic (I tend to use Ecover which I refill from a nearby shop which has a refill station). I’ve been told to avoid tipping this dirty washing up water on containers or the leaves of plants we will eat, but you know what – it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
5. We installed a water metre in early 2012 and talk about the readings (honest! but at least it’s only quarterly). There are four of us plus occasional guests, and we use less than an average two household family so I managed to get the water company to reduce our bill (a tiny bit).
6. Bath water is then tipped into two buckets and used to flush the loo.
7. When we go out we take drinking water in a portable container so we don’t have to buy plastic bottles of water. This saves enough money for us to indulge in ice cream or beer/wine depending on our tastes.
8. We do this for the dog too.
9. The loo is never used as a rubbish dump for cotton buds, floss, san pro etc. Cooking fat isn’t poured down the kitchen sink either (instead it gets composted).
10. But that’s it. So thank goodness other people are putting their brains into ways to keep water sources cleaner. You can find out more at www.the-splash.co.uk (a site run by Ecover which I use for cleaning because of its eco-credentials).

Even when it’s proper winter Nell, Izzy and Lola hope not to find plastic nasties in the sea.

What’s hard, what’s not
Everything is easy to do, except #6. If you flush your toilet bowl with soapy water, or water that’s been used to wash hair then you get a quick build up of horrible things that make your toilet bowl turn a grim grey. In London the limescale makes this extra horrible to gaze at, so every now and then (more then than now) I empty the toilet pan of water and chisel off the scaley gunk with a special knife kept in the bathroom. The gunk (which doesn’t smell) then gets put in our household rubbish. I have to admit that people do call this extreme…

Message in our bottle: recycled plastic will one day soon come from the plastic rubbish dumped at sea.

Who else loves clean water?

This interest in keeping water clean made me curious about Ecover – the company that makes most of the cleaning products I tend to use – and the ideas they have for keeping the planet healthy, see their message-in-our-bottle. Turns out Ecover has found a genius way to improve their bottles. This year it’s all about using bioplastic – just 15 hectares of sugar cane sorts out their bottle needs. They’ve also found a way to use improved plastic recycling so that since 2011 the company has put new stock on shop shelves in 100 per cent recycled bottles.

Best hook up ever
Best of all is Ecover’s scheme to fish for discarded plastic dumped at sea and then recycle this by making plastic bottles is on target for launch in 2014. The madness of sending fishermen out to fish for plastic is so attention-grabbing, and so sensible. What a great idea. Here’s a link to the Guardian story about this.

Over to you
What do you to teach your kids about using water wisely – and how do you make it fun?